that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize