They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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