Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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