Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
