Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
