did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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