I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
