Dual....:-)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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