i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
