I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
