using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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