I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
