You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize