Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
