Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
