OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize