You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
