He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
