if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
only you would photoshop your dick
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
