her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
