Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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