And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize