she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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