i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
