so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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