It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
