She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they need to just BURY HIM!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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