And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize