Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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