i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
