Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
