Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
