The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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