Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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