I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
