i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
