You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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