3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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