But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize