let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
