It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
