Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
