Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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