i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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