i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have aggressive nipples.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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