She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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