I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We named our party play list daddy issues
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
