I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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