Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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