Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
