Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
