Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
