This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
