And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
