She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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