So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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