I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
