her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
