That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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