We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
