I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
