There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
