May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
