I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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