Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
