Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
